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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
These were sent to Joanne from her mum:

Superman was bored. So he gave Batman a call. Batman said Robin was
ill and he had to look after him.

A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a
few beers.

Spiderman told him he had a date with Cat woman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see
if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he looked through the window
and saw Wonder woman naked on the bed with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could
be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what was happening".

So Superman did his Super Thing in a split second and flew off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said: "Did you hear something?" "No,"
said the Invisible Man, "but my arse hurts like hell!"


Yet Another New Law:

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Hamilton City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Chartwell Shopping Centre in Hamilton . Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in New Zealand.......


A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.

If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,

"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease;

it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
you'd be paying for her things, too."

Don't trust little Old Ladies!!!


A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?


Just like a man

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the womanbecame aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of herback. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then,he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand overher stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and then the other.His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probingthen started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned todo the same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little tobetter position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to hisside of the bed.

Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.

He whispered back, "I found the remote!"
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